Some time ago I became aware that there is such a thing as a shoe-of-the-month club. There are several, actually. One called Shoedazzle, styled by Rachel Zoe. A J. Crew one. One called Shoemint, where you can also tap into sister sites to buy bags, jewelry, and clothes, extra closet sold separately.
Naturally, this discovery led me to stroll down memory lane to the high-school days when I belonged to the Columbia House Record Club. There was nothing better than coming home at the end of a boring day at school and finding a package of Cure, R.E.M., and Depeche Mode cassettes (yes, cassettes), waiting in the mailbox.
Then it led me to recall the unfortunate year or two after college that I belonged to the
Book-of-the-Month Club and ended up with a book on dream interpretation (It seemed like a good idea at the time), and a cookbook from which I have made exactly two recipes, neither of which have come out that good.
Then I started wondering what other “of the month clubs” there are, which led me on a slightly hilarious journey.
Here are a few: Wine, craft beer, and coffee. Yum, yum, and yum. I’ve even come across a wine of the month club that sells wine by women vintners only, which is very cool. But did you know you can also do of-the-month clubs for cigars, dog treats, and jerky? Pass, pass, and pass. There are also monthly subscriptions for teddy bears, tea, chai tea (who knew there’s more than one kind of chai tea?), mustard, cheesecake, cupcakes, peanut-butter-and-jelly, hot sauce (not to be confused with the BBQ sauce club), pasta, pickles, soap and—wait for it—water. Yes, water. Or pardon me, fine water.
There are several, as I mentioned, on the more sartorial end of the spectrum. I confess to wanting, just an eensy-weensy bit, to join Birchbox, which sends makeup and product samples to your door, nestled in a cute little box, of course. There are so many of-the-month clubs that I wonder if there is a club of the month club, where you can try a different of-the-month club every month.
Actually, looking back at the list, it seems you could actually subsist only on items ordered from of-the-month clubs. That might be a project worth trying. I’d happily live on PB&J, pasta, cupcakes, and wine for a year, though the challenge would probably be fitting into the clothing-of-the month. I’d probably have to switch, then, to the lower-calorie water-of-the month club. But there would be soap, and coffee, and of course, I could always join the Book-of-the-Month Club again. I may never have to leave the house again.